Recently I read an article about a new book coming out called “Slow Parenting”. Slow parenting is about letting kids be and grow at their own pace. It’s about not rushing their developmental milestones and forgetting the timeline printed in books.
I discovered this on my own with my second child. He was a slow walker, talker, teether, potty trainer, detacher…
At first I was concerned. By 14 -15 months of not walking I found myself with 2 choices: a. Freak out, complain to the pediatrician, and start probing, testing, and pushing my kid… or b. Trust the process of Nature.
I chose “b”… and I’m glad. My reasoning was simple: Do you know any adults who don’t walk, unless they have some sort of physical impediment? The answer was “no”. Everybody learns to walk. Everybody learns to talk (meaning anybody who doesn’t have a condition to hinder this), everybody learns to eat on their own, and nobody crawls anyway.
Why do I mention crawling? Psychology books are filled with milestone timelines and other such stress inducing facts, that you should know, but sometimes ignore. One such timeline is crawling. According to some experts, crawling is supremely important in the process of development and it’s a MUST. Frankly I don’t get it. Why is it a must? Does anybody crawl anyway? No. Only babies crawl. Adults don’t crawl. And what’s more, I’m pretty sure, those adults who never crawled as babies are perfectly capable of crawling now. So what’s the big deal?
I say let your kids establish their timeline, let them crawl with a crooked leg, let them mispronounce that “r”, let them eat their boogers (gross I know). Unless there is something physically preventing them, they will learn to these things sooner or later. Let them and enjoy them. Do read the books, keep them around and refer to them when necessary. But don’t use them as a bible. Don’t fuzz if they’re not on target, if they are behind a month or two. Is your child happy? In the end, that is what’s most important.
They will grow up to be decent, capable people, if they grow up happy.
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I agree with you completely. We all learn and develop at our own pace. We spend too much time consulting the charts, and comparing.