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Ok. I wasn’t going to write about this because it was a supremely personal experience and there is no need to share it, but then again, maybe it’s good to share it, so here goes… I was flipping out. I was having a horribly stressful day and I was obsessing about things that were not helping at all, so I decided to meditate. I was feeling so desperate, meditation seemed like the way to go. Now, I’m not someone who meditates regularly. In fact, I hadn’t meditated (for real) in years. Back since my mom used to take me to Realization Fellowship meetings. But recently someone reminded me about the power of meditation, so I looked for a guided meditation on “letting go”, since I felt that was what I needed.

The experience was MAGICAL! The meditation involved using the imagery of balloons to represent the things you needed to let go of and instructed to welcome your guardian spirit into your “happy place” (in my case, a garden where there is peace, sitting in the grass under a Flamboyán tree, under a bright blue sky). The meditation was helping simply by calming me down with the breathing and the music and just the peace of centering yourself, but I was not expecting everything else that happened.

The moment came to envision my spirit guide. This spirit would provide comfort and security in order for me to be able to let go of the things I needed to let go of. There was light and the figure walked towards me and I could feel a warmth and then suddenly I saw her face. It was my grandmother! She embraced me and my entire body goose bumped and I started to cry. Yes! I’m talking full on tears that flowed all the way to the floor. I felt her. I felt her presence there with me, like she was hugging me (the energy didn’t seem to come from within, but from around me). And she smiled, the peaceful, serene, knowing smile she used to give me when she was alive. It felt amazing! (I admit, there was a microsecond of doubt, but I dismissed it. Don’t question what is happening!)

I let go of the things I needed to let go of. My last balloon was a bit hard to release and she encouraged me to do so. She said, “it’s hurting you, let it go”. And so I did, and eventually the time came to go back to the regular world. She took my hand and walked with me. Suddenly my other grandmother was there too. She held my face and said absolutely nothing. She just looked at me and I knew she was just there to love me and protect me. They both hugged me and then sent me off. I came back feeling new, healed, and charged. The stress I had been feeling went away completely and I’m still chilling about everything today. Now I feel my grandmother around me regularly, like she’s there just to hold me if I need it.

I wasn’t expecting that. I was not expecting something so magical. I went into the meditation just to calm myself down because the stress I was feeling was intense, and ridiculous, and unhealthy. But what I got was so much more. I got two spirit guides; two amazing women from my family to guide me. My ancestral ladies. Wow!

So I guess what I’m trying to say is that meditation is an invaluable tool and to not reason what happens during these experiences. Take them! Take them as they come. They are yours and they are real, and they help. I will be forever grateful for this!

If you need something to let go of, you can find the guided meditation I used here. Live it and love it!

-Maricel