Call me old-fashioned, but I like it when a man opens a door for me; when they pull out my chair at a restaurant and when they lend me their jacket to keep me from being cold. It’s those tiny little details that help distinguish between class and crap. And when I say “class” I don’t mean as a social, economic distinction, but rather as a moral one.
Unfortunately, chivalry or “caballerismo” as we call it in spanish, became associated with men and male chauvinism. Some seriously disturbed feminist decided that chivalry was somehow an indirect way of calling women weak and incapable and vouched against it. The protest was a hit and the result was that men have stopped being nice. Now, I don’t understand why opening a car door or front door for a lady is in any way calling her weak. Nobody actually believes she is incapable of opening the door herself. The purpose of such gesture is not to insult, but rather to demonstrate that this a man who cares about your well-being and will try to make you as comfortable as possible. How can that be insulting?I repeat, it must have been a seriously disturbed feminist.
Now to the bill. Modern women for some absent-minded reason don’t like having men pay for the bill. “I can pay for it myself!” they protest. Ha! We know! Let him pay damn it! Don’t ruin it for the rest of us! He wants to pay. It makes him feel accomplished. He shows you he can stand on his own two feet and should the need arise, can hold you up too. Trust me, at the end of the night, you want a man who can afford to pay the bill. It’s not about being “maintained” or “kept.” It’s about showing he is capable. After all, you don’t want to have to “keep” him, do you? And just because he pays, it doesn’t mean you need to put out. As if…
Of course, I’m a modern woman myself and I don’t think men should pay for EVERYTHING all the time. If you get a midnight craving for ice cream and he’s just coming along for the ride, you should pay for it yourself, but that’s when the delicate balance between two people forms and each couple is different. Hey, whatever works, works! Just remember one word: reciprocity. Role division is not about gender, it’s about equilibrium.
IT’S NOT JUST FOR MEN.
Nope. It’s not. Chivalry is about grabbing the opportunity to provide a service. That means, a lady opens a door for an older man or woman. Or we hold open a door we had already opened for ourselves. Heck, it’s not even chivalrous; it’s common courtesy. And perhaps they are one and the same. It’s rude to let a door slam in somebody else’s face. And it’s nice to open a door and let the old lady behind you step in first. It’s not necessary, it’s just really nice. And nice makes a good impression, and in the long run, nice opens doors for you. Call it karma if you will. In my book, karma is long-term cause and effect (possible future blog subject).
So be nice, be chivalrous, be courteous, and by all means, let others be chivalrous towards you. Life is just better that way; really! Thumbs up for old school chivalry. Keep it up!